Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Dear Family! (10/5)

 I am not going to lie or sugar coat things. We had a really hard week. We didn't find a single investigator and so we still have no one teach. The most frustrating part is that we are doing everything that we possibly can. We have visited every name on the ward list. If someone isn't home then we knock on the surrounding doors, if someone has moved then we try to share our message with the people who live at the address currently, and we walk EVERYWHERE to try and talk to as many people as possible. I guess you could look at our numbers or the results of our week and say that we failed, that we didn't succeed but the weirdest part is that every night when we get back to the flat we feel like we are on top of the world because we know that we had done everything we possibly could that day to invite others to come closer to Christ and that means that we are successful. It's weird to me to be in this situation because I feel like I am on borrowed time. I should have gone home for being sick, and I would be going home tomorrow if I hadn't extended. But I am still here and I suppose I still have a work to do even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. I can see that the refining process is still in full swing as Sister Perry and I concluded the other day that we both aren't very patient people and therefore the Lord is just trying to help us develop that attribute. Even if I have six more weeks like the one we had last week I will still feel like I am a successful missionary. I think this experience has also helped me to not search for self justification from outside sources. We have to come to know for ourselves of our value and acceptance from the Lord and not from any other source. As much as I love and respect President Rudd, I am not working to please him, or my district leader or my zone leaders, I am working to please the Lord and I felt like this week He was pleased by our sacrifices. I can take this lesson and apply it now my life at the completion of my mission. It will be so easy to fall back into the world's trap that says "You only have value if you look like a model" or "If you aren't driving the nicest car you don't matter in the world" and I really don't want to be like that. My mission, and especially this week has helped me realize that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father and that I have great value in His sight. It is only through living the Gospel that we can come to know in a small portion the value that we really have as His children. It is so funny to me that I can realize this just because we lost all of our investigators and walked around everyday this week. There are so many lessons that I feel like I could never have learned had I not chosen to leave the world behind and serve a mission in New Zealand. 

Well that is all that I have this week. Sorry it's a short one. I hope that things are going well at home. I love and miss all of you and I can't wait to see you! Have a great week!

Sister Simkins

No comments: